Can I Look?

It’s been such a hard week. But it’s been such a wonderful week. Whenever we feel overwhelmed and frustrated and exhausted, standing by the waterfall in our yard puts everything into perspective. How many people can do their yard work, albeit impossible to ever finish…next to a waterfall? Not many. We don’t take it for granted.

We managed to get our heat stove working finally. And just in time for a bout of cold weather.

But the downstairs is not only where we live. We take a shower upstairs. And our bed is upstairs. So today, we have to head to town again and try to find another heater. Perhaps kerosene. Carbon monoxide detectors and other odds and ends are important too. Carrying bags of 40 pound wood pellets on trains and buses and up the path about did us in. So we have to space our battles sometimes.

A lot of people on our TikTok page have asked us why we aren’t just concentrating on the inside of our house. And it’s because as we get the funds to fix something, we wait. You see us working in the yard or on other projects inbetween time. Because not only do those things need to get done, but they help our souls too. We both came from places that our families farmed. Oranges and vegetables and more were grown by our families. So we feel at peace doing this.

But today, as we head into Genova to look at heaters, I want to look at other things too. I won’t get any of them. So is it ok to look? Is it ok to dream of the future? I haven’t allowed myself too. Because I don’t want to be frivolous. But I decided it’s ok today to look at sheets. And rugs and candles. Oh and a leaf blower. That would be awesome soon! But I don’t need any of that. Nope. But I am going to allow my mind to wander and also reach for those things in the future. That means scheduling my time better. Getting more writing jobs. Maybe more. But today, I’m with my person and my dog and I’m in Italy. And yes. When I look around, I can’t help but be grateful. Maybe you can feel that today too.

-Rachael