Praying. Praying. More Praying.

I’ve had to rely on prayer more than ever the last year. I was raised in a religious household. And it always has been a part of my life. I don’t talk about god or religion on any of our pages or websites. Because faith is a very individual thing. I never, ever want to question anyone’s beliefs or intrude my thoughts and beliefs. Truth be told, I’m still finding my way and trying to understand things I’ve been thru, individuals I’ve lost and so many things. I’m starting to think I’ll never fully know the answers I long for. But I do know that praying helps me. And I’m doing a lot of it. The Depression Monster would have already won if not.

Today is a lot of freaking out for me! I don’t do good with decisions normally. And there are a lot of emotions in this. I don’t want to leave our home and Brickle’s resting place for any length of time. Even if it’s a few weeks, that’s too long. I’ve gotten in the groove. The things that mattered so much to me when i got here like an outdoor bathroom have taken a back seat (pun intended) to my love for my home. And making it better. I’m very concerned our audience won’t understand and will give up on us. I have a lot of emotions.

We are even last minute right now trying to figure out any way to stay. And praying for that. We also have two specific choices.

1. Albania. We would have to rent a car and stay in a rental.

2. A sponsor has agreed on a narrow boat agreement in the UK. We would not need a car.

Even if it was staying in a mansion other than home, I would choose home. But perhaps, praying more will help me today. I hope so. I know it’s just a temporary detour. And that we had to do it this way to get our beloved Brickle here. But now that the time has truly come to leave for a little while, I don’t want to go. Simple as that. We didn’t plan for this in any way. Any way. We were so concentrated on Brickle and then our test. I’m pretty frustrated.

Praying. Praying. More praying. That above anything else, we make the right decision for our dog, Fruitycake. Without him, nothing truly matters.

Any dream can have detours. No one said this would be easy. Not many told us to do this. And I know why. It’s wasn’t an easy dream. Can we do this? I’ll pray about it.

-Rachael